Okay I’m ready. I tapered this week, slowed it down, eased off the volumes. Not posting any of the taper-week workouts…not very interesting…Now I sit in my hotel room in Racine, listening to fantastic Brazilian techno pop (DJ Dolores) and thinking about this crazy sport. Perspective. Two thousand people here competing, testing themselves, celebrating intensity and endurance. I have split sentiments. At times I’m totally obsessed-into-it-this-is-the-greatest-thing-ever-what-a-way-to-spend-a-Sunday, and at other times I’m pondering the utter selfishness and self-absorption of this largely lone ranger sport. I’ll give it my best tomorrow and see what gives.
One curious human aspect of triathlon is how the body prepares instinctively. One way it prepares is it cycles through an evacuation process that seems to begin for me about 48 hours before a race, and continue up until 30 seconds before start time. The frequency of peeing seems to increase exponentially as race time approaches, to the point where within one hour of start time, my bladder seems to go from empty to dancing/jumping/bursting full in 2 minutes and 7 seconds. It’s a fucking nuisance. Of course there are porta-potties everywhere with infinite rotating lines of worried looking hopefuls to keep me company. Don’t think I’m solo in this phenomenon. Regardless of how I time things, most races I’m forced to…well….let me put it this way…NEVER, EVER borrow, (or lend) a wetsuit…Good news is, I’ve decided to invent and market a device to the triathlon community. The concept formed while I was peeing in my wetsuit at Batavia. (I repeat: NEVER, EVER borrow—or lend—a wetsuit) I’m convinced it would sell quite well in the Triathlon world. It’s a simple plastic bladder-like device that you discreetly insert into your wetsuit, attach where needed, and then simply let go, detach and remove the device, and throw it away. No muss no fuss. I’ve got three names with tag lines for it: Johnny on the spot—Go where you are! Peeline Direct—the waiting is over! Discreet Relief, when where you are will have to do.. And the corporate name—Pro-active Elimination Enterprises.
Rich: I can empathize with you completely on the split sentiments before, as well as after a race. It is selfish and self-indulging for sure. But I think that is why you also have to put it in perspective: in the end, it's just a hobby like bowling or playing poker on a Sunday night. No matter what happens in the race, you finish (or don't finish) as fundamentally the same person who started, but with a new experience. The problem is that these experiences are very painful. I don't know why people do it either... I guess we are all masochists at some level. Chris
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